Heartbreak Warfare
by amazing07
Summary: A/U. Set after 'Disarm'. Meredith's younger brother and Lexie's half-brother, Logan Grey, is called back to Seattle when his ex-girlfriend and the love of his life is admitted to Seattle Grace. MerDer, Slexie, and OFC/OMC.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: The only things that are really different are the facts that Lexie and Meredith were, by no means, close, but they did, if fact, know each other before Lexie arrived at Seattle Grace for her internship. Meredith had stayed in semi-contact with her father over the years. And the biggie. Ellis and Thatcher had another child together, Logan Grey. Logan's 31 to Meredith's 34, Lexie's 25, and Molly's 23. Set after 'Disarm'.**

**Logan Grey played by Justin Hartley**

**Parker Mertuil played by Allison Mack**

**Savvy Mertuil played by Molly Burnett**

**Tavia Mertuil-Diaz played by Elizabeth Hendrickson**

**Aiden Diaz played by Channing Tatum**

**Bella Mertuil played by Shirley Maclaine**

**Chapter One**

To say that they were a dysfunctional family wasn't only redundant. It was down right uninformed. They were hardly a family. The only things that connected Ellis Grey and her children together were genetic markers and classic good looks and an unrivaled surgical sense. A mother, that she was not born to be, but a surgeon? They didn't come more dedicated, ambitious, or brilliant than Ellis Grey.

Children only held her back, and she took every opportunity to remind hers of that little fact. Meredith rebelled with pink hair and gothic clothing and a nose ring that would have mortified her mother if she had bothered to pay attention. Logan wasn't the type to rebel. That would have required him to give a damn what the likes of Ellis Grey had thought about him, and he hadn't.

He just didn't give a damn. He was reckless and charming and nothing at all like his mother or his father. In fact, their step-mother Susan used to say that she thought that Logan had sprouted from the water. He was almost eleven when he told her that that made absolutely no sense and was entirely impossible. She replied that nothing was impossible and how did he know that the ocean wasn't his mother? After all, he was as dangerous and endless and bold as the Pacific herself, wasn't he?

Meredith had been a know-it-all 14 year old that didn't believe in anything or anyone, but she hadn't laughed. In fact, she smiled slightly. Not really enough to even warrant the title smile, but it was there at the right corner of her mouth with just a slight tick. She had never heard it put better.

Logan was like the ocean.

Over the years, every time he came and went from her life, she compared it to the rising tide or a hurricane or a tsunami, depending on the amount of havoc he reeked during his short intervals into her adult world. It helped when he left because he always left.

But the tide always came back.

Still water was dead. To have life in the ocean, you had to move. Logan had to move.

And Meredith … she needed roots. She couldn't write off Ellis the way that he had. Never mind the fact that she never was much of a mother. She just couldn't do it.

She was dark and twisty, but her brother was dark and twisty times 10.

And so he stayed gone and phone calls turned to emails that turned to sporadic post cards from the far corners of the earth - wherever Doctors Without Borders took him.

And she missed him. Sometimes so much she didn't think she would be able to breathe, but she did. She always did. For the first twenty years of her life, Logan was constant. The only constant, and him being gone so long somehow made her life seem surreal sometimes. Like if he wasn't in it, it was just a twisted daydream that refused to end.

But she had Derek and Cristina and Alex now. She did have Izzie and George, but they've gone. Izzie ran away and George was in the ground. Both lost to her. She and Lexie had never been closer.

She wasn't alone, but somehow she felt that way. No one else could understand what it was like to grow up with Ellis Grey. No one except Logan.

She shook her head, straw-colored bangs whispering over her cheeks and cobalt eyes filled with a melancholy nostalgia. Well, wherever he was… Happy birthday, Logan.

She remembered, and she knew Lexie did, too. Somewhere with her young husband and baby, Meredith also knew Molly remembered. His sisters remembered even if no one else did.

And the sad part was… he had no one else to remember. No family, not a lot of friends. Typical Grey behavior, she mused, almost chuckling. Typical Grey behavior with no McDreamy to be his knight in shining whatever.

She felt sorrier for him over that than anything else.

Because as dark and twisty as she would always obviously be… she had let it go and she had lived her own life without the decisions of Thatcher and Ellis and Richard hanging over her head every damn day of her life.

Logan never did. He was angry and lost, and he ran. He was a runner. A damn good one, too. Even his sisters didn't know where he lay his head down at night these days.

And she missed him, dammit. Swallowing, she shook it off, looking back down at the chart in her shaking hands. She could feel Derek's eyes on her from across the nurse's station, but she couldn't be whole just now. She couldn't let him look at her and fix her. It would feel like a betrayal to Logan to do so.

"Mere?" Lexie hesitantly asked, coming up on her sister, almost wary. She usually was when it came to possibly discussing their past. The present? Perfectly fine. The future? Even better.

But the past? She and Meredith just weren't there yet. Maybe they would never be. She didn't know.

She hoped.

Meredith felt closer to Lexie now than she ever had when they were children because she could see now that Lexie was, in her own way, just as dark and twisty as she and Logan were. Didn't make her crazy though. Made her a Grey.

"Yeah?"

"Um, have you, um, hear- well, have you -"

"Spit it out, Little Grey," Mark gently chided, sidling up to the two Grey sisters - Little and Big, respectively - and handing the charge nurse back the chart to 1343 aka Big Bird aka his 9:00 nose job tomorrow morning.

She shot him a quick glance before refocusing on her older sister. "I need to get in touch with Logan."

Meredith's shoulder's straightened. "Why?"

"He's my brother. It's his birthday. Isn't that enough?"

"Lexie -" Meredith warned, wanting the truth. Lexie's eyes shifted to the floor before locking on Meredith's.

"Parker's here."

"Here, as in Seattle, here?"

"No, here, as in the hospital, here."

Meredith swallowed, almost audibly. Her too wide, all-knowing blue eyes narrowed as she thought of the young blond who had once been the center of Logan's world. Why they broke up… she didn't know. Didn't care really. All she knew was that Logan had been devastated by the sudden loss, and Meredith had hated seeing him to lost to his emotions, so heartbroken.

"Why? Is she looking for Logan?" Meredith questioned. Lexie shook her head.

"No, she's sick. She told me she doesn't want to see him."

"Then why are we getting involved in this at all? She'll slaughter you if she finds out you were trying to tell Logan she's in the hospital. Seriously. Slaughter. Like a pig." Meredith told her, completely deadpan which was verbatim for her. "Seriously."

Lexie glanced down at her tennis shoes, bottom lip caught between her teeth as she debated with herself on what the truly right thing was to do and to whom her loyalties truly lay.

And every time the answer came up the same: Logan.

He was her brother, and to her, he was who mattered. And she knew that no matter what had happened between them that Logan would want to be there for Parker. Especially in this.

"She's dying, Mer. She's more than likely never leaving this hospital again, and if we don't call him right damn now, he will never look either one of us in the eye ever again." Lexie swallowed. "He will hate us. More then than he ever has and I can't face that."

"Lexie -"

"He's our brother. He's who matters."

"Lex-"

"He's our brother, dammit."

"Fine. Fine." She reached in the pocket of her lab coat, pulled out her phone, and dialed. "Pia, it's Meredith. I'm looking for my degenerative brother… He is? …. Thanks."

She hung up the phone and look speculatively at Lexie, thoughts stampeding through her head on what she should truly do.

"Well?" Lexie asked.

"He's in Pakistan. Kashmir, actually." Meredith didn't say more. She didn't need to.

Mark, who the two had forgotten was even present, could see that Lexie knew exactly what that meant. Whatever that was.

"Since when is he climbing again?"

"I don't know, Lexie. I don't know. She said he was working with Red Cross in Ethiopia until climbing season started and he's been at base camp on K2 ever since."

"Red Cross? Last we spoke he was with Doctors Without Borders." Lexie said, disgruntled, incredulous, disbelieving. Meredith didn't understand why. It was typical Logan.

He was like the ocean. He went everywhere, touched every corner of the earth, crashed against land, nicking and weathering and tearing and caressing sand from Antarctica to the North Pole, from the shores of China to the cliffs of Ireland.

He was everywhere. He was everything.

Meredith didn't understand why she couldn't see that. Logan was like the ocean, and apparently now he scaled mountains.

And Mark just didn't understand… period.

He had been standing, eavesdropping he supposed. Not that he gave a damn.

Whether they were together or not, in his mind, everything to do with Lexie was his business. And right now, they were together and he loved her and she loved him.

And he was nosy. Seriously, seriously nosy.

"Brother? Wait, I didn't know you had a brother."

Lexie rolled her eyes. "If I ever needed proof that men don't listen, there it is."

Meredith would've laughed or at least smiled, but all she could muster was a quick quirk of the left corner of her lips. Her cool blue eyes met sharp mocha ones as they exited the elevator, chiseled eyebrow lifted and lips pursed in response to spotting Meredith and Lexie.

Tavia, Parker's sister and the biggest bitch Meredith had ever had the pleasure of knowing. Logan had thought it was hilarious that Lexie couldn't even form complete sentences around her.

Lexie hadn't seen the humor in it, and now neither did Meredith, because she was here and Parker was here and Logan wasn't. She was so damn mad at him for being gone while all his old baggage landed on her doorstep for her to clean up. It would be a damn shame if it wasn't so typically Logan. Even if it wasn't his fault.

"Tavia's here."

"T-t-tavia?" Lexie turned and Mark's eyebrows narrowed and Meredith chuckled. The petite brunette made right for them, her hair meticulously done and her designer shoes clicking against the tiled floors. She was a beautiful woman, ferocious and precise, but Meredith could see the hopelessness and the desperation lurking in her eyes, and she wondered how long that Parker had been sick and she wondered how in hell they were supposed to tell Logan that he was going to have to live in a world where she didn't.

"Meredith. Lexie." She glanced down at her clasped hands before glancing back up at the two sisters. "Parker's really sick."

Lexie nodded slightly, sympathy written all over her face. Meredith just looked at her and felt for her.

"She's really, really sick, and she won't admit it. In fact, she's forbidden us, but… she needs Logan."

"We called Pia. He's in Kashmir."

"K2?" Tavia asked, incredulous. "Dammit, Logan."

"She said she would have Taj call me back. He'll be flying into base camp tomorrow. I'll brief him and he'll brief Logan. He'll come."

"Will he? After everything… will he?"

"She's the love of his life. He'll come."

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	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: OC heavy, but bear with me.**

**Chapter Two**

Savvy plopped down into the hard chair, the scratchy fabric that all hospitals contain irritating her arms and causing her to shift around with agitation. Her pink lips were pursed, her eyebrows high on her forehead, and her eyes glazed over with the resignation that when she finally got the hell out of this place that her sister wouldn't be going with her.

She had always, always been high-strung. High-strung and bubbly. Full of life.

Parker hated that her illness had stifled the life inside of Savvy almost more than the fact it was going to take her own.

"Say something, Sav. Anything." Parker demanded, tossing down the remote and glaring at her sister. "Anything to wipe that damn look off your face."

Savvy stood up, and Parker recognized the look from her hospital bed. Tavia's husband, Aiden, recognized the look. Bella, the girls' grandmother, recognized the look.

Hell, Nurse Tyler recognized the look from across the hall at the nurses' station.

It was the ferocious look of an Amazon warrior…right before she cut your head off.

Savvy sauntered right up to the foot of the hospital bed, gripped the rail, opened her mouth…

And nothing.

Nothing came out. Nothing happened.

She ran out of the room, and Parker slumped in her bed. This was not how she imagined that she would die. She always assumed she would be parasailing or rock climbing or….hell, jaywalking.

It never crossed her mind that her innate carelessness or recklessness or sense of adventure wouldn't be the death of her. She always thought that eventually her luck would run out, and she would accidentally kill herself trying to feel that sense of clarity you get when you teeter on the edge of life and death. She never, in a million years, would have thought that a bad heart would be what ultimately did her in.

Apparently, it never crossed Savvy's mind either because she wasn't taking it well. She was bound and determined to be as difficult as possible for as long Parker had left. Which wouldn't be as long as her family was thinking.

She could feel the weariness in her bones, feel the lightness in her belly. Her time left on this earth wouldn't be long, and the only thing she wanted was the one thing she would be forever afraid to ask for.

Logan.

She hadn't seen him in almost three years, and she had missed him everyday. Everyday and every second, she had longed for him, but that was the one thing she couldn't have.

Well, the one thing besides a long life.

She was only 27 years old and she was dying. Her brain was rattled from dealing with her family, one foot was already in the grave, and her heart didn't beat in her chest but inside of Logan wherever he may be.

Wherever that was… she hoped he knew that she had never stopped loving him and she had died loving him.

But the scariest part of her impending death was that she was sure that he didn't. He, according to his parting words, believed that she had never loved him at all.

"Parker…" Aiden said, his deep voice low and chilled to the bone with helplessness. He stood, bones weary and body aching with dread. "I'll go after her."

Parker nodded sharply, swallowing back her tears, and watched him go. Bella stood then, determined and resolute.

"It's going to be okay, kid. Don't you worry now." She told her granddaughter, coming over, pouring Parker another glass of water, sitting on her tray. Her eyes narrowed a bit before her shaking hand smoothed Parker's golden bangs out of her face.

"Gran…"

"No, there's still hope. There's always, always hope." Bella vehemently swore.

"Please, don't do this."

"You'll get a heart, baby. Just you wait and see, okay?"

And Parker could see that desperate need in Bella's mocha eyes to believe, and she knew she couldn't take that away from her. "Okay."

Once outside her sister's hospital room, Savvy bee-lined to the first empty on-call room she could find. Rules be damned. She pounded the door behind her with her small fists, scalding tears trickling down her pale cheeks, wracking sobs forcing her body to spasm. The tears came unexpectedly, but the anger - the anger was always there. Right underneath the surface, bubbling, waiting to escape.

And she resented it, and she resented Parker for it, and she resented herself for resenting her sister that could possibly go into heart failure at anytime.

She wanted out. She wanted to go back to her cozy little life in New York. She wanted to forget that she had weaknesses. And that's all that people you loved who loved you back were. They were weaknesses. Just another way to hurt her, to end her, to make her wish for death right along with Parker.

She wanted to go back to New York where things didn't matter so much, that nothing could touch her. She wanted to go back to New York where she could pretend that everything was fine and that Parker wasn't wasting away in some dreary hospital bed, waiting for death to claim her.

"Um, excuse me, are you okay?"

She jerked at the voice, her gasping sobs just turning into one big shaky inhale. Savvy turned slowly, her back slightly bent in embarrassment.

He was beautiful.

That was the first thought that struck her. He was beautiful, hair shaved in that way that only really sexy men can pull off, green eyes practically glowing in the dimly lighted room, full lips pursed in concern for the crazy stranger that had interrupted his nap.

Savvy was frozen.

"Hi. I'm Jackson. Jackson Avery. Can you tell me your name?" He was practically purring, his voice sounding like the sweetest vibration as he hopped off the top bunk and began to slowly walk toward her.

"I'm Savvy."

"Savvy, huh?" The side of his mouth quirked. "I like that."

"I shouldn't be here. Sorry."

"You don't sound real apologetic."

"It's because I'm out of practice. I'm hardly sorry."

"Must be nice. Kind of like freedom."

"Yeah," She whispered, her eyes squeezing shut for a second, just for a second, as she remembered what freedom tasted like. It was a prison. Parker's disease was a prison for her and her family and Parker. She just wanted to remember how freedom tasted on her tongue, caressed her skin. "Kind of like freedom."

She stepped back, hand grasping the doorknob. Jackson's eyebrow cocked.

"Going somewhere?"

"I should get back. Let you go back to sleep."

"You should stay. I can sleep through anything. Even sharing the room with a pretty girl."

"You sure?" Savvy questioned. Jackson reached out and took her hand.

"I'm more than sure."

Jackson climbed back on the top bunk, right knee raised, hands clasped behind his head, green eyes wide open. Savvy climbed onto the bottom bunk, curled into the fetal position.

He went to sleep counting the breathes she took.

Meredith watched the doors, the clock, the phone signal. She was in pause while the time slipped away from her. Logan should have been here by now. It had been two days since she had called Pia. If he had been told immediately - which he should have been- he should be arriving in Seattle any moment if he wasn't here already.

So…she watched the doors from the bridge over the lobby, coffee balanced between her palms.

"You're staring, Meredith." Derek said, amused, a little bit concerned as well, as he sided up to his Post-It wife.

"No, I'm waiting. I'm holding steady, waiting for the freaking tide or whatever." She took a long draw off her coffee as he chuckled knowingly at her.

"Crazy brother's like the ocean?" He questioned, picking up her particular vernacular.

"Crazy brother's like the ocean." She returned with a little sigh, turning toward him. "Hi, husband."

"Hello, wife." Derek kissed her quickly. "How's Lexie holding up?"

"Avoiding Tavia at every turn. She's a grown woman, a doctor, a surgeon! It's ridiculous."

"She's not like you, Meredith. She didn't grow up with Ellis Grey." He told her, eyes raising in that way that only his did when he was trying to make a point. Especially with her.

"Thank God for that." A cool, masculine voice smiled from behind them. Meredith spun around and leapt, no hesitation, no fear, coffee sloshing everywhere.

And Derek smiled. It was nice to know she had that inside her sometimes. The ability to forget how untrustworthy the world can be and just leap. He liked to be reminded that she did it with him… eventually. It took a while, but she leapt.

She leapt right into Logan's arms and they embraced, tight like it was the first time, eyes squeezed shut like it could be the last.

"I missed you so damn much," He murmured, nose tucked in the crook of her neck, arms clasped tight around her shoulders. His signature smirk dissolved from his chiseled face, and Meredith couldn't see it, but Derek could. He could see how Meredith's presence comforted her brother, brought down his shields, and soothed him.

And seeing that, it baffled him that she could ever believe that she wouldn't be a wonderful mother. She had raised herself and her brother into adults who had turned into fine doctors with a strong moral compass from what he could tell.

She would be magnificent when they had a child.

She pulled away from Logan, grasping his face in her hands, dragging him down so they were eye to eye. "You are in so much trouble. I'm so mad at you for traipsing across the globe with no regard to me or to Lexie or anyone. I could just murder you."

She hugged him again with a long sigh, and Logan smiled patiently at this brother-in-law. Apparently, her faux anger was to be expected.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," Meredith murmured over and over, finally pulling back far enough to actually introduce her brother to her husband. They were polite, and Meredith was grateful. The two most important men in her life were finally meeting face to face.

It usually happened before the wedding, but her life was an unusual one. She just wanted Derek and her brother to get along.

"Where's Lex? I'm dying to see her." Logan said, excited, and then he visually became more subdued and Meredith knew he was thinking of Parker. "And Parker. I'm dying to see her, too."

"Lexie is in surgery with Dr. Torres. She's the ortho attending."

"I've read up on her. She's quite impressive." Logan admitted, but Meredith could see his feet shifting back and forth and he rubbed his hands up and down his thighs in anxiousness.

She took pity on him. "Let's go see your girl, Lo."

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	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Lexie Grey watched the clock with the eyes of a lioness stalking her prey. Her brother should be here by now, sauntering through the halls of Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital with the arrogance that only Logan Grey could possess. His presence would either alleviate some of the pain from Parker's impending passing or it would magnetize it. Only time would tell now. Only time would allow them to heal from their wounds and finally move on from the epic relationship that Lexie pictured in her head.

People like Logan and Parker… their love would always be epic. She would settle for consistency and passion and warmth. She had that with Mark, and with another glance at the clock, she realized that it wasn't settling at all.

It was everything. They were epic in their own right.

Dr. Torres looked up at Lexie and Alex, and Lexie recognized the smile hidden by her face mask as it danced in her mocha eyes. "Do you want to finish, Dr. Karev?"

Alex's eyebrows shot up and without missing a beat, his hands took over with the self-assured confidence that oozed from his pores on a daily basis. He was an arrogant ass, but he was a capable and talented arrogant ass.

"We're all finished here, Grey, if you want…" Callie trailed off as Lexie flashed a grateful smile and bolted to scrub out.

She loved surgery. She loved the high she got from wielding a scalpel, but her brother was here and nothing won out over that. She had missed him for far too long.

Lexie briskly trotted down the halls of the hospital, eyes darting back and forth across the hallways, peering into windows and doorways. And she saw them. Derek and Meredith and Logan dispersed all across the conference room across from the nurse's station. It felt like she had been run over by a semi-truck, her stomach in knots and her heart in her throat.

Her mother had once said that Logan was like the ocean, and Meredith had waxed poetic about it for years now. Logan was like the ocean apparently.

And she guessed they were both right because right now…he felt like a tsunami.

Crashing and roaring and upending her life as he cascaded back into Seattle. She hadn't even called her dad or Molly. She couldn't ambush him like that no matter how much she wanted to, how much she felt that he owed it to them to smile and hang out with his family for just one afternoon.

But Lexie knew better. He was here for Parker. Not her or Meredith or Molly or even Thatcher.

Obviously they didn't rank high enough on his totem pole. He hadn't even met Laura yet. Didn't care to, in Lexie's humble opinion, and she was a little bitter about that.

She was bitter about a lot of things dealing with Logan. But she loved him. Because she loved him so much, she just wished for the feeling to be reciprocated.

She wanted him to consider her, consider Meredith or Molly or Thatcher, just once when he chose to disappear or change his entire life.

She wanted him to remember that there were people in this world that loved him unconditionally.

Lexie's brown eyes crinkled as she pursed her lips, catching every movement of her siblings and brother-in-law. Logan sat front and center, just as he liked it, but she felt a pang of panic and sympathy as she watched his blonde head fall into his hands, elbows resting on his knees, shoulders shaking violently.

She couldn't imagine what he was feeling. If she doubted everything else about her wayward brother, she didn't doubt that he would love Parker Mertuil until the day he died.

Meredith walked hesitantly up to Logan, crouched down on her knees, placed her hands in the crooks of his arms, pressing her forehead to the top of his head. Lexie could see her lips moving silently as she murmured comfortingly to him, and Lexie's heart ached for him.

She locked eyes with Derek as she opened the door, and he gave her that patented McDreamy "I'm sorry" face. She couldn't help but try to smile back but it came out as nothing more than a grimace.

Meredith and Logan both looked up slowly, and seeing the tears on Logan's face, Lexie began to cry as well.

"Oh, Logan." Her voice cracked slightly, and he stood slowly easing out of Meredith's grasp. They stood face to face for a moment, just a moment, before she was wrapped around him with his face in the crook of her neck, his hands fisting the back of her scrub top.

"You're the best thing I've seen all day," Logan whispered, and Lexie guffawed through her tears.

"Hey! Blonde and fabulous and slightly older sister—right here and marginally offended." Meredith sniped.

Lexie laughed through her tears, wide-mouthed and sincere. Just because he was only here for Parker didn't mean that he didn't love her and just because she resented him on some subconscious level didn't mean she didn't love him back. She crazily and unconditionally and sincerely loved him back.

"You both are the best things I've ever seen in my whole life," Logan looked down, part shamefully before glancing back up. His voice dropped a few octaves, gravel overtaking the smooth sound like a shot of good, strong bourbon after a long day.

"Right now, I think the feeling is very mutual." Derek agreed, small smile lifting the right corner of his lips, looking more like a contortion than a smile. Lexie guessed that her brother-in-law hadn't forgotten the reason behind Logan's visit in the chaos of emotional upheaval that was the Greys.

"Yeah," Meredith murmured, slipping underneath Derek's arm like she was made to be there, made for him. "Best thing I've ever seen."

"Hands down." Lexie agreed, turning in Logan's arms, the smile so wide, so deep, and so true, on her face that it hurt and her brown eyes crinkled, watery and full.

And then it faded to silence and all of the resentments and the fears and the bitterness and the anger edged back inside of them, and reality came crashing down on their shoulders.

"I want to see Parker, Meredith. I have to… I-" He trailed off, looking away. Just to the corner of the room, but Lexie could see the miles growing between them even as he held her in his arms.

He wanted to run, to be anywhere but here, and to be perfectly honest, Lexie couldn't blame him this time. The love of his life was dying. Who wouldn't want to fade away for a little while?

The love of her life was making some intern miserable in the East Wing and she wanted to fade away herself for an hour. Hell, ten minutes would suffice.

"Wake up," Jackson murmured, waving coffee under the sleeping redhead's nose, smirking slightly at the soft puffs coming out of her nose. She was beautiful. She reminded him of a wounded angel fallen from grace.

He felt foolish, fingertips reaching out to trace the swell of her cheek. The last time he had felt this sort of pull towards a woman so fast, she had all but laughed in his face before it was over. She hadn't wanted him at all but for an ego boost.

And this one – this one had hardly left the heart girl's room in the last two weeks, and he was sure she was going to be nothing but trouble because for the last three or four days the Greys – Big and Little- had been incessantly stalking the occupant.

It reeked of nothing good coming out of it, but somehow… he still talked himself into buying her coffee.

"H-hey," Savvy stretched, her movements very feline and enticing, and Jackson's eyes glazed over as he looked at her body. She smiled up at him, angelic and wounded and utterly perfect.

"Brought you coffee."

"So I smell." She sat up, yawning and stretching and making his emerald eyes go even wider. "So…how long have I been out?"

"Two hours. You looked like you needed it." She snatched the cup away from him and inhaled deeply, seemingly content for the first time since they had met, but it didn't last. He was disappointed but not surprised. Contentment never lasted.

Her eyes drifted from his, "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

"Want to share?" Jackson hesitantly looked at her.

Savvy shook her head, got up off the bed, and took a long drag off of her coffee. "Not in this lifetime, buddy."

She looked at him, corners of her mouth coming up quickly into a full-blown grin.

"What?"

"You know, Dr. Avery, you're kind of hot." Savvy smirked, taking another long pull off of her coffee. "It's a shame we didn't meet under different circumstances. Goodbye."

She sauntered from the room, and he felt his stomach do a fast flip. "A damn shame."

Jackson shrugged his shoulders, smile turning into a smug smirk, and he knew that it wouldn't be the last time he spoke to the red-headed beauty.

Savvy, he recalled. No, it wouldn't be the last time he spoke to Savvy. He would make damn sure of that.

Her manicured hands made precise digs against the chair arms. Her Manolo Blahniks were set perfectly straight on the floor in front of her body. Her Marc Jacobs purse sat neatly in her lap.

And if you didn't look closely, you couldn't see the muscles in her arms and legs and face so tense that they could snap at any moment.

It reminded Cristina about something her neurotic mother used to say about you couldn't see cracks in stone until it shattered.

And Tavia Mertuil-Diaz was about one espresso shot away from a full-blown meltdown.

"Thank you, Dr. Altman." Parker's voice was weaker, almost defeated. It hadn't been like this long. She was fine this morning. In bright spirits and excited to live another day with her family at her side, but now … this bad news just set her back again. "I appreciate everything you've done, but I- I think it is time to … let go."

"Parker!" Bella snapped, standing in shock and panic and fear.

"No, no, it's time." Parker remained insistent, and Cristina knew that Parker was her patient but for some reason she just couldn't take her eyes off of Tavia. She never flinched, never moved, never reacted. It reminded Cristina of herself, of her reaction after the shooting, and so she watched Tavia and waited for the tension in her arms and legs to snap and for her to go flailing all over the hospital room.

The voices of Bella and Parker and Aiden rose and rose and rose, but Tavia didn't move or speak or breathe. Teddy tried to intervene and calm the family down, but it did not good.

"You have to calm down. This isn't good for Parker or her heart. This is Parker's decision, and I'm…"

"She's a child! She's a baby practically!" Bella cried, tears pouring down her weathered face. "She's too young to know what she's even throwing away!"

Fists clenched, Parker shook her head back and forth, back and forth, her own tears making their way down her cheeks. "I'm tired. I'm so tired, Grandma! I know what I'm doing."

"You could still get a heart!"

"God! I'm not going to get a heart. I'm not." Parker's eyes snapped to Teddy and Cristina. "The doctors are just too nice to tell you, to break your own heart, but I'm not getting a heart. I'm just not."

The sound that erupted from Tavia's chest silenced them, and they all looked surprised. Even Teddy.

But Cristina hadn't. She had kept her eyes steady. It was like a car crash. She just couldn't look away before everything fell apart.

"Baby?" Aiden questioned, slowly moving closer to his wife, but without looking at him, she held her hand up to stop him.

The silence was deafening, but before anyone else could react, there was a knock on the door. Derek stuck his head inside.

"There's someone here to see you."

Parker's eyes flew from devastated to confused back to devastated. She knew exactly who was behind that door.

"Goddamn you, Logan."

**Please review with thoughts or suggestions! I'm a sucker for them, and I tend to write faster if I have someone cheering me on. Just a little emotional extortion to sweeten the pot.**

**xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Savvy had impeccable timing. Well, if by impeccable you meant incredibly bad…well, she had impeccable timing, and it was never more apparent than when she burst into Parker's hospital room to find everything in turmoil. Her brows knit and quirked in that uniquely Savvy way that always made Bella smile.

But today she didn't smile. She didn't even look up.

"Hey, guys. What's going on?" She looked over at Derek. "Oh, did you special order Dr. Man Candy? Where do I place mine?"

"Uh, no," He said, sheepishly looking at the ground before he looked back up at Parker. "No, there's someone here to see you, Ms. Mertuil."

"I heard you the first time. It's my heart that's bad. There is not a damn thing wrong with my hearing." Parker snapped her complexion never paler, her emerald eyes never so lifeless. Derek couldn't help but recognize something inside them, and he knew that Logan had arrived just in time. She couldn't hang on much longer. He had seen that look before in patients' eyes. He could recognize it from looking in the mirror during a time in his life that he didn't even want to think about or remember, a time when he hit his mother's engagement ring in the woods with a baseball bat, metaphorically smashing his life and future with Meredith to bits.

"Is it…" Aiden questioned, serious eyes roaming from Parker to Bella to Derek back to his wife. Tavia was blood red, dark eyes narrowed and determined and endless. She was teetering on the edge of destruction. He could see it plain as day, and it frightened him.

"It's Logan." Bella flat out told him; hand on her hip, left eyebrow raised.

"It could be anyone." Savvy stated, unsure and partially terrified. It was perfectly, to Cristina anyway, the pecking order of the Mertuils.

"It's Logan. It could be anyone, but it's Logan." Tavia told them, standing.

Cristina could visually see the dark-haired woman put herself back together, glue the pieces back however she could. It was commendable. Cristina could respect someone badass enough to pull it together by any means necessary. She could see that Tavia was someone who accepted no bullshit and pulled no punches.

She was obviously the eldest Mertuil. Taking care of her sisters had become an unequivocal part of her characteristic makeup.

"Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh."

Parker was exhausted. They could see it plain as day on her chiseled face. She was a people pleaser. She tried and tried and tried to make it okay for her grandmother and her sisters and her brother-in-law, and she wore that failure with every shrug of her shoulders.

Classically, Parker was the medium between the two extremes of Tavia and Savvy. Tavia took care of them, and Parker kept them together.

"Well, what does he want?" And lastly Savvy. Savvy was the baby, the heart of the family. Savvy was overflowing in life and love and joy. Savvy was… alive. She was innocent but not naïve. She was vivid but not intense. She was strong but not unbreakable.

She was the baby. The one that they all believed they needed to shield in life, but they hadn't shielded her from this. Cristina could see it plain as day on her face.

"He wants to see Parker. What should I tell him?" Derek said.

"Tell him… Tell him…" Parker droned off, looking out the window as best she could from her hospital bed.

"Cristina, let's go. Give them a minute." Teddy suggested with a decisive nod of her blonde head. Cristina gave her a look that clearly dictated 'but it was just getting good', but they left anyway with very little to-do. Derek thought about following them out, but he held his ground until Parker's emerald eyes nailed him there.

"Tell him it's okay, but I don't want to see him." Her voice was small, unsure, and indecisive. Not at all how Bella raised them, and it warranted a look from Bella and Tavia.

"I don't know you or anything, but I mean, he came a long way." Derek started, but Bella held up a hand.

"He came for you."

"I know you and I know he came a long way and you are not going to throw away this second chance. I won't let you." Tavia stepped in, fierce eyes nailing her sister's emerald ones in silent battle.

"There is no second chance! There is not second chance for me or for us! I'm dying."

"Don't you say that. You have to see him. Maybe he'll give you some perspective." Tavia headed for the door, but Aiden grabbed her arm and shook his head.

"I said no. I can't. I just can't." Her eyes were full of tears and she threw her hands against the bed with as much strength as her rundown body could muster. "Can't I get a moment's peace to my damn self? Get out! Get out!"

They all filed slowly out of her room, closed the door behind them quietly but her sobs were still prominent.

Derek glanced down the hall to where Meredith and Lexie flanked Logan and shook his head. He watched Logan visibly deflate and felt his own heart break for the younger man. He couldn't imagine if it was Meredith, and she wouldn't see him.

Tavia grabbed Derek's arm, her tiny frame jerking him almost all the way around, her mocha eyes hardened. She seemed to be fully recovered from her earlier bout with the brink of emotional insanity.

"Don't let him leave."

Derek blinked, surprised. "I'll do my best."

"Do better." She said, snaking her arm through Aiden's and walking toward the surgical lobby.

And Meredith's arm clenched on Logan's. He wanted to run. When fight-or-flight kicked in, Logan was always a runner. She could feel him shifting on the balls of his feet and his pulse elevate. Adrenaline was kicking in, and Logan was teetering closer and closer to the edge. He wouldn't be able to take much more after hearing Parker's shouted words.

It was like they had pulled the life right out of his body.

"Don't do it. Don't do it. This is very likely your last chance to do this right, to be there for her. She may not know it yet, but she needs you to fight for her. One last time." Meredith's whispered words echoed throughout the hallway, grounding her brother to the hospital, protecting him from destroying himself by leaving.

"The first time, too. I've never fought for her the way I should have. I never gave her the effort or the love she deserved."

"Give it to her now, Logan. Love her best now." Lexie told him vehemently, her own arm tightening around his, her eyes meeting Meredith's in nonverbal agreement: Logan wasn't going anywhere. Not even if they had to physically shackle him to the nurse's station.

"I don't know if I can. I don't know that I'm built to withstand this. I don't know if I can survive if I leave her now. I don't know if I can survive it if I don't and she leaves me."

Meredith grasped his chin between her fingers, jerking his face around so chocolate met sapphire and held.

"You will." She told him with no room for questions. "You will because you are a Grey, Logan. A Grey, and we survive if nothing else. We survive when we are beat down and every light in the world has faded to darkness. We survive, and you will survive this. Whatever happens, you will survive it."

They turned to look back down the hallway as Tavia and Bella rushed back in with the nurses when Parker's alarms began shooting off and her screams became nothing but harsh echoes against the cool walls. Logan wrenched out of his sisters' grasps and loped down the hallways, his entry halted by Derek on one side and Aiden on the other.

Lexie felt every sense of resentment she had for her brother leave her as he began shouting Parker's name like a mantra to keep her heart beating.

_Parker. Thump, thump. I still love you. Parker. Thump, thump. Never leave me. I'm sorry. Thump, thump. Don't go. Please. Thump, thump. I love you, Parker._

Lexie closed the door quietly behind her, leaned against it, and exhaled deeply, her troubles seeming to leave her already and she wasn't even touching him yet. Even after all the time she had spent with Mark – hating Mark, loving Mark, always, only Mark – it still amazed her that the mere thought of his flesh on hers brought her to an entirely different level of peace and contentment.

"Are you okay?" He asked, pausing mid-chop from fixing dinner, brows knitted together, tight black long sleeve t-shirt stretched over his broad shoulders, and for the first time since they had been together, the coil in her belly wasn't one of lust or love at the sight of him. It was one of desperation.

She had been strong all day. For Logan and for Meredith and, to be honest, for herself, too, but at his words, his voice, his presence – she broke down, eyes flooding with unshed tears, bottom lip quivering.

He ran to her, pulled her up in his arms, chest to chest, her hands fisted against his back, her face buried in his shoulder.

"Lexie? What's wrong, baby?"

"Just don't let go. Don't ever let go."

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